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Friday, June 24, 2011

Journeys

So here I am again at my blog after two long, tumultuous months.  I've been anticipating these moments of silence here at keyboard.    Feeling, without it, inadequate to process this rounded adventure, this circle I seem to have traveled.

 Because I am at long last home.  In many ways it feels like that.

I am back in the state where I grew up.  I am back with my friends of old.

 And yet, being 'away from home' for so long, I found that my true home was simply in Christ.  I grew content after a long period of resentment.  I grew secure in my self and learned how to be at peace.  I came to a point where I told God my preference but relented to His ultimate will.

And He brought me here.  He was faithful.  And the trip, the traveling, the newness for the kids, the goodbye to a friend of the heart made there, the welcoming arms of awaiting friends, the arms of my husband; this has all been a whirlwind and now I am somewhere so familiar trying to remember all that I became while away.  Wanting not to lose the closeness I gained there with God.

So I am balancing;  allowing in and releasing and acknowledging what yet to keep.

This is the journey I now find myself on.  Because the journey never ends.

  I only feel now, two weeks in, a bit like I am settling.  I am comfortable and happy but tired and overwhelmed as well.  Paradoxes, again.  Always.  This physical home I'm in, so similar to the one I was raised in that at night, I can almost feel like a child again in my parent's house.  I feel in a way, that I've come full circle but I know enough to understand that a circle continues on.  There is so much more.  I've only just begun.