Who

Words are only painted fire; a look is the fire itself.
Mark Twain

"It was the best of times, it was the worst of times, it was the age of wisdom, it was the age of foolishness, it was the epoch of belief, it was the epoch of incredulity, it was the season of Light, it was the season of Darkness, it was the spring of hope, it was the winter of despair, we had everything before us, we had nothing before us, we were all going direct to heaven, we were all going direct the other way - in short, the period was so far like the present period, that some of its noisiest authorities insisted on its being received, for good or for evil, in the superlative degree of comparison only."

Charles Dickens, A Tale of Two Cities

I couldn't resist.  December 1st, today and in so many ways, I'm glad November is behind me. I've been away from here for a while because I participated in NaNoWriMo. And I 'won'!  The experience is one I'm so grateful for and one which will take me who knows how long to process.  

Going in, I almost thought of it all as a joke- for me.  How would I write a novel, a brand new novel with all else in my daily life? But God, in His amazing way, found fit to bring to me an idea, to give me time off from my school, to come every day to where I wrote, and to teach me of Him, further and deeper.  It was all a gift. Whether anything happens ever with my story, I know that it was an avenue He used to strengthen my relationship with Him.

And in the midst of that beautiful gift, my home life went haywire. Thankfully, not due to all my time writing. But circumstances, hidden, God chose to reveal last month and here, there are not words to describe the feelings behind the happenings. And I don't understand the timing anymore than I understand the circumstance,but I know that as I wrote about a girl seeking Jesus, Jesus sought me.  

And so I don't know what the future holds. But I know Who holds my future. 

wonderland

Trusting the Process

It is the middle of week two of NaNoWriMo.  I have experienced a bit of that block that 'they' say can come in week two.  But I have been pushing through.  And there are elements in my story that are painful.  But I am also grateful to be exploring them.  Because I had asked for healing.  And I feel that this is part of that.  And when I'm in flow, coming back to the real world is a bit hard. And I'm left with so much of my characters.  But this is how it should be.  I have to trust the process.  I have to trust that this is God ordained.  And I am grateful that I am not going it alone.  And I am grateful that He meets me where I am.