Who

Words are only painted fire; a look is the fire itself.
Mark Twain

"It was the best of times, it was the worst of times, it was the age of wisdom, it was the age of foolishness, it was the epoch of belief, it was the epoch of incredulity, it was the season of Light, it was the season of Darkness, it was the spring of hope, it was the winter of despair, we had everything before us, we had nothing before us, we were all going direct to heaven, we were all going direct the other way - in short, the period was so far like the present period, that some of its noisiest authorities insisted on its being received, for good or for evil, in the superlative degree of comparison only."

Charles Dickens, A Tale of Two Cities

I couldn't resist.  December 1st, today and in so many ways, I'm glad November is behind me. I've been away from here for a while because I participated in NaNoWriMo. And I 'won'!  The experience is one I'm so grateful for and one which will take me who knows how long to process.  

Going in, I almost thought of it all as a joke- for me.  How would I write a novel, a brand new novel with all else in my daily life? But God, in His amazing way, found fit to bring to me an idea, to give me time off from my school, to come every day to where I wrote, and to teach me of Him, further and deeper.  It was all a gift. Whether anything happens ever with my story, I know that it was an avenue He used to strengthen my relationship with Him.

And in the midst of that beautiful gift, my home life went haywire. Thankfully, not due to all my time writing. But circumstances, hidden, God chose to reveal last month and here, there are not words to describe the feelings behind the happenings. And I don't understand the timing anymore than I understand the circumstance,but I know that as I wrote about a girl seeking Jesus, Jesus sought me.  

And so I don't know what the future holds. But I know Who holds my future. 

wonderland

Trusting the Process

It is the middle of week two of NaNoWriMo.  I have experienced a bit of that block that 'they' say can come in week two.  But I have been pushing through.  And there are elements in my story that are painful.  But I am also grateful to be exploring them.  Because I had asked for healing.  And I feel that this is part of that.  And when I'm in flow, coming back to the real world is a bit hard. And I'm left with so much of my characters.  But this is how it should be.  I have to trust the process.  I have to trust that this is God ordained.  And I am grateful that I am not going it alone.  And I am grateful that He meets me where I am.

Deeper

Update:

This last week has been rather magical.  I've been happily wallowing in writing time  As I go deeper into my story, I go deeper with God. And I am loving my searching main character. I have just a hint of what she finds and I'm excited for her. I just feel God's hand over me as I write and if nothing else, this is for me and Him.



"What is a novel if not a conviction of our fellow-men's existence strong enough to take upon itself a form of imagined life clearer than reality and whose accumulated verisimilitude of selected episodes puts to shame the pride of documentary history?" - Joseph Conrad

submitting at Playdates

It was eight am.  She'd been up for half an hour but hadn't moved from bed.  She didn't feel good today.  And she was trying to remember.  She needed to remember.  More so than usual.  That dream had been important.  For she hadn't spoken.  She had listened only.  This much she could recall.  And what he spoke, was meant to be carried over.  

For just a few more lines, click here.

Source: victoriamag.com via Nicole on Pinterest

This picture helped inspire my writing for today.

Day 2 update and a confession

It feels a bit magical so far, Novel Writing Month.

It seems that God is for it and I am being beckoned in by Him.

My school approved this month off.  Brett's parents are in town this week and have had the kids.  And I'm even here for a brief moment because I went over the word count goal yesterday!  5 pages of a brand new story has unfolded and I'm excited to see what comes!

One confession here:  Although I'm enjoying all the writing time I'm also missing the children.  They've been spending the night away - all of them- and being only a writer and not a mom would be sad and lonely, I've discovered.

Where I'll be for the next thirty days

I will be here, if anywhere this month, or however long I last.

Novel in November

The gold beckons.  The story of the silver begs for shine.

It seems that this may be for now, that the fantasy wants fed while reality rests.

I called my school and it looks as if I just may be able to take November off.  And I have a wisp of an idea. And, too, when really quiet I can hear God's breathing, the calling to come away.  Sometimes these whispers take me deeper into an imagination, which is still somehow real.

That is how it was with the first idea.  Which fueled me for so long but now has been shelved, maybe permanently.

And so I'm listening for the next invite to escape.

Tina's Pic Stories Playdates

November Looming

I'm wondering what November's going to look like for me.

I still feel conflicted on the subject of blogging every day.  In a certain sense I feel a little free when I let a day go by without coming here.  But then I grow inexplicably worried that if I don't write here every day something will happen.  What, I don't know.

I did have a clarifying realization recently: blogging is something I've really been able to stick with, without growing bored.  Yes, I've experienced days of burn out or frustration and even writer's block but not boredom.

This is a big deal because my interest does wane easily.  Case in point, the paper mache flowers I was so gung ho on making Thursday night, which have been laying unfinished and untouched ever since.  I'll get back around to it someday.  Maybe.  The point is, that often I start out excited about a project or an undertaking and I enter in full force only to lose my desire half-way through.  Not so with blogging.  So I wonder, does this mean I should be doing it? Or is 'should' not even an appropriate word? And then I come across things like this:

and it resonates.

  But too, I need to look at Ann Voskamp's Blogger's Prayer, often.

And now November is here.  Which means what? It means that with Thanksgiving, two of the children have birthdays, I start a new class tomorrow....and I'm signed up for NaNoWriMo.

K.D. Storm describes it as, "NaNoWriMo is where somewhat sane people come together in November to write a 50,000-word novel in 30 days. There is no spell check, editing, or any other form of polishing. It is writing at its purest form. The whole idea is to sit in the chair and write until your heart is content (or you succumb to madness). "

A whole new exciting problem project!

 I was pretty positive that I'd at least give it a shot this year.  Until I saw the math. 50,000 words in one month equals close to 1700 words per day.  Per day.  With school papers and blogging?  And kids and life?  And housework and homeschooling and husband care?  Hmmm.

But, I gotta give it a go.  There's a good chance that by November 2nd, I'll have come to my senses.  Then I'll just try again next year. I'm pretty sure there's no penalty for repeated attempts.

And so, it will be interesting to see what November brings.