Showing posts with label links. Show all posts
Showing posts with label links. Show all posts
Monday, November 12, 2012
Thursday, August 16, 2012
When Life Becomes "Complicated"
I think, often, about how my two younger children have not, overall, received as much attention from me as the older two. It wouldn't be too hard to blame this on the idea that the more children there are, the less of mom there is to go around. It's a valid argument. Four children vying for attention instead of two, absolutely requires more conscious effort and creativity. It's true, also, that a brood of children have a tendency to somewhat entertain each other and yet, I know that they need individual attention. I try to shoot for this. I take them out alone, in their turn, when I can but not as much as I'd like.
Sometimes it makes me sad to think back to the days when the older two were younger, when it was just them. I remember when True was in preschool and I only had Annika at home. She and I had our little routine. We read stories, worked puzzles, drew together. Further back than that, as a young mother, when it was only True, he and I spent endless quality time together. Less stress and perhaps, more motherly enthusiasm meant that I dedicated hours to teaching him, playing with him and just being silly with him. We used to sing in front of the mirror together, using hairbrushes as microphones.
I feel sad thinking about this because so much of that, the younger two have missed out on. And when I really analyze it, although amount of children plays in, the fact is- life was simpler then.
Confession: I'm not merely distracted by four kids running in four directions. I'm now way too easily distracted by technology. Blogging, Facebook, online school, texting. None of this was in my life when the older two were younger. And I might have been a better mom.
Sitting in the parking lot of True and Annika's school yesterday, waiting the fifteen minutes it takes for them to be delivered to me, Palin asleep, Verity chatted in my ear while I checked my email on my phone. As if there might be anything that important. But I opened A Holy Experience and read about the practice of relationship. And it occurred to me that right now, I could spend that time with Verity. So I did. We played hangman. And not on my phone (though I was tempted).
This is a practice. It's so easy to 'multi-task' to the point of losing sight of these brief moments when children are young. The now moments. These moments when they want to be with us. I don't want to look back and realize that this time has passed. Will I remember any one email I opened up or anyone's status update on Facebook? Probably not. But the essence of time spent listening or playing with my kids- that I want to remember. I need to practice ignoring the lure of phone notifications, these false demands, all that's far less important than just being. Just being available and present when I'm with my children. Practicing that which used to come easier. Practicing because it no longer comes easy. Practicing to get back to that place.
Sometimes it makes me sad to think back to the days when the older two were younger, when it was just them. I remember when True was in preschool and I only had Annika at home. She and I had our little routine. We read stories, worked puzzles, drew together. Further back than that, as a young mother, when it was only True, he and I spent endless quality time together. Less stress and perhaps, more motherly enthusiasm meant that I dedicated hours to teaching him, playing with him and just being silly with him. We used to sing in front of the mirror together, using hairbrushes as microphones.
I feel sad thinking about this because so much of that, the younger two have missed out on. And when I really analyze it, although amount of children plays in, the fact is- life was simpler then.
Confession: I'm not merely distracted by four kids running in four directions. I'm now way too easily distracted by technology. Blogging, Facebook, online school, texting. None of this was in my life when the older two were younger. And I might have been a better mom.
Sitting in the parking lot of True and Annika's school yesterday, waiting the fifteen minutes it takes for them to be delivered to me, Palin asleep, Verity chatted in my ear while I checked my email on my phone. As if there might be anything that important. But I opened A Holy Experience and read about the practice of relationship. And it occurred to me that right now, I could spend that time with Verity. So I did. We played hangman. And not on my phone (though I was tempted).
This is a practice. It's so easy to 'multi-task' to the point of losing sight of these brief moments when children are young. The now moments. These moments when they want to be with us. I don't want to look back and realize that this time has passed. Will I remember any one email I opened up or anyone's status update on Facebook? Probably not. But the essence of time spent listening or playing with my kids- that I want to remember. I need to practice ignoring the lure of phone notifications, these false demands, all that's far less important than just being. Just being available and present when I'm with my children. Practicing that which used to come easier. Practicing because it no longer comes easy. Practicing to get back to that place.
Thursday, August 9, 2012
The Author of Peace
I know I've shared (maybe, a million times) that I'm not the most excellent housekeeper. Which is odd because I feel like I do spend a lot of time cleaning. I'd like to think of this as just some strange phenomenon, perplexing but having nothing to do with lack of skill.
Whatever it is, I just can't get a handle on it. I work one room while the rest are being systematically destroyed. We did a thorough spring cleaning and I swear, it wasn't two weeks before the results were undetectable.
When we moved into this house a year ago, it seemed plenty big enough. Now, not so much. And I haven't done a ton of shopping. It's weird.
When I close my eyes to picture a home that's a sanctuary, I envision white, fluffy carpet, white couches, vast space and a spot for everything - nothing left out. This is a far cry from the clutter that actually 'decorates' my home. I like the idea that organized clutter comes with creativity, although I'm not sure that my clutter is actually all that organized.
I read something this morning that suggested perhaps outward clutter is a subconscious means of isolating - keeping others away. I can see this, though I'd never thought of it. I can tend to isolate. I like my own space, time alone and definitely am not a woman who enjoys surprise visits. My mom was also this way.
She would want to cancel visits with friends, worrying the house was too messy, even though it really wasn't.
So, while I'm not a hoarder by any means, I do have my fair share of unwanted mess. That I can't quite figure out what to do with. And last week a husband's friend stopped in to drop something off for me. I met him in the driveway. He asked if I wanted our kids to play together. I told him, Sure, send yours in. Go run some errands. Well, that's not what he meant. And I kind of suspected that. So, I reluctantly let him in, warning him that the house was disastrous. He asked me why. In that blunt, male way. So, I stammered out the true excuse that I use my morning to work on homework and blog, that the kids sort of run a bit wild during that time.
But maybe, I need a better system. Maybe, I need to think a little more about keeping a home that's inviting, that can handle a surprise visit. Suggestions?
Solitude is good. Time spent quietly in prayer and worship and introspection is necessary. But if there's the chance, that without knowing it, I've settled into habits that not only allow me to keep people away but also block my mind from really, truly experiencing that emptiness required for God to enter, then I need to at least look at it.
Whatever it is, I just can't get a handle on it. I work one room while the rest are being systematically destroyed. We did a thorough spring cleaning and I swear, it wasn't two weeks before the results were undetectable.
When we moved into this house a year ago, it seemed plenty big enough. Now, not so much. And I haven't done a ton of shopping. It's weird.
When I close my eyes to picture a home that's a sanctuary, I envision white, fluffy carpet, white couches, vast space and a spot for everything - nothing left out. This is a far cry from the clutter that actually 'decorates' my home. I like the idea that organized clutter comes with creativity, although I'm not sure that my clutter is actually all that organized.
I read something this morning that suggested perhaps outward clutter is a subconscious means of isolating - keeping others away. I can see this, though I'd never thought of it. I can tend to isolate. I like my own space, time alone and definitely am not a woman who enjoys surprise visits. My mom was also this way.
She would want to cancel visits with friends, worrying the house was too messy, even though it really wasn't.
So, while I'm not a hoarder by any means, I do have my fair share of unwanted mess. That I can't quite figure out what to do with. And last week a husband's friend stopped in to drop something off for me. I met him in the driveway. He asked if I wanted our kids to play together. I told him, Sure, send yours in. Go run some errands. Well, that's not what he meant. And I kind of suspected that. So, I reluctantly let him in, warning him that the house was disastrous. He asked me why. In that blunt, male way. So, I stammered out the true excuse that I use my morning to work on homework and blog, that the kids sort of run a bit wild during that time.
But maybe, I need a better system. Maybe, I need to think a little more about keeping a home that's inviting, that can handle a surprise visit. Suggestions?
Solitude is good. Time spent quietly in prayer and worship and introspection is necessary. But if there's the chance, that without knowing it, I've settled into habits that not only allow me to keep people away but also block my mind from really, truly experiencing that emptiness required for God to enter, then I need to at least look at it.
It's not necessarily fun to look at stuff like this. It may, however, be necessary.
Saturday, December 17, 2011
Monday, December 12, 2011
Wednesday, December 7, 2011
When it rains
When it rains.....
"....let the Lord make you strong. Depend on his mighty power.....May God the Father and the Lord Jesus Christ give peace to the brothers and sisters. May they also give them love and faith." Ephesians 6:10,23
Monday, December 5, 2011
He is my refuge and my fortress
hh
I'm all over the place right now, I realize, but bear with me. I'm desperate for change. Desperate for God.
Sunday, December 4, 2011
New and Renewed
Thursday, November 24, 2011
The Story Isn't Over
Grateful for finding these words today at In Him We Live and Move and Have Our Being (and I'm feeling especially today as though without Him, I'd be unable to move as the living is so very hard right now):
"...we need not pretend that all is well in our lives in order to experience thankfulness. This coming Thursday, try to find at least one thing for which you can be grateful despite the tough times in which you may find yourself this year. It’s amazing how much happiness this practice can generate, on Thanksgiving, and throughout the year....Finally, knowing that the story is never over will help us to have a happy Thanksgiving....Could we acknowledge the good despite the pain of not knowing what could be coming?...Ultimately, I realized that we were holding back because the story wasn’t over. Then I realized that in life, our stories are never over, so why wait?"
You have been raised to life with Christ. Now set your heart on what is in heaven, where Christ rules at God's right side. [a]
"...we need not pretend that all is well in our lives in order to experience thankfulness. This coming Thursday, try to find at least one thing for which you can be grateful despite the tough times in which you may find yourself this year. It’s amazing how much happiness this practice can generate, on Thanksgiving, and throughout the year....Finally, knowing that the story is never over will help us to have a happy Thanksgiving....Could we acknowledge the good despite the pain of not knowing what could be coming?...Ultimately, I realized that we were holding back because the story wasn’t over. Then I realized that in life, our stories are never over, so why wait?"
You have been raised to life with Christ. Now set your heart on what is in heaven, where Christ rules at God's right side. [a]
2Think about what is up there, not about what is here on earth.
3You died, which means that your life is hidden with Christ, who sits beside God.
4Christ gives meaning to your [b] life, and when he appears, you will also appear with him in glory.....
You must quit being angry, hateful, and evil. You must no longer say insulting or cruel things about others.
9And stop lying to each other. You have given up your old way of life with its habits.
10Each of you is now a new person. You are becoming more and more like your Creator, and you will understand him better.
11It doesn't matter if you are a Greek or a Jew, or if you are circumcised or not. You may even be a barbarian or a Scythian,[d] and you may be a slave or a free person. Yet Christ is all that matters, and he lives in all of us.
12God loves you and has chosen you as his own special people. So be gentle, kind, humble, meek, and patient.
13Put up with each other, and forgive anyone who does you wrong, just as Christ has forgiven you.
14Love is more important than anything else. It is what ties everything completely together.
15Each one of you is part of the body of Christ, and you were chosen to live together in peace. So let the peace that comes from Christ control your thoughts. And be grateful.
16Let the message about Christ completely fill your lives, while you use all your wisdom to teach and instruct each other. With thankful hearts, sing psalms, hymns, and spiritual songs to God.
17Whatever you say or do should be done in the name of the Lord Jesus, as you give thanks to God the Father because of him.
1 Colossians 3
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)
Posts
