December has felt a little mooney, a bit blah.
In fact, I can't quite believe we're this close to Christmas.
Circumstances in my life have shifted considerably and I'm already feeling the 'after Christmas blues'. Maybe, because November, in many ways was very special. In other ways it was very rough, but within that difficulty I could really hear God. And I'm not hearing Him as well this month.
Last night, a friend and I were talking and she said that she prays and she does her readings but one thing she just can't get is the meditation part. Meaning, her mind continues to wander whenever she attempts. I almost had to laugh, because she said it as though, she were one of the only ones with this problem. I told her that I was fairly certain most people had this problem. I'm reading Letters of the Scattered Brotherhood right now and it's a treasure of a book. It speaks quite a bit on going into the silence, hushing the outer man. If the Desert Fathers recognized the difficulty in meditating, certainly, we in our busy lives will find it near impossible. But I think that the more we practice, the more we discipline ourselves, we will find that God is waiting to meet with us in the silence.
This section really spoke to me. This is something I am certainly in need of practicing:
"May I say here that the mind cannot remember easily when it is full of criticism; you cannot afford to take umbrage, to have prejudices, nor hold to yourself these violent human emotions which flare up in human contacts. Let them go and dwell in the source of all love, infinite love"
The only way I have managed at all during this time is to pray for those I resent. To try to stay above the human drama and enter instead into the drama of Christ's love for me. The drama of His birth, His death, and enter, too, into my own dying to self for Him.
".....Prepare yourselves to be sons of God, rise to your full height and live most of your life in spirit while in the material world....The discipline of the body and the spirit is an exercise as old as time. The conflict of body and spirit, joy and sorrow, has been an accompanying mystery;"
I am practicing this picture of my inner man rising above. Staying above with the peace that surpasses all understanding. I heard a suggestion recently to breathe in with the thought, 'I am' and out with the thought, 'Peace'.
"I will give you a talisman to use in times of pressure, of drabness, of temptation. Say, 'There is no measured time at this place, no future, neither is there a past. I am in the eternal moment, the limitless, infinite, now.'"
Furthermore, I am in today. Today only. Only God know what tomorrow holds, so here and now, I am able to trust.
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