Friday, August 3, 2012

Every time

Well, today was the first day of school for the two older kids.  Confession:  I cried a little  I've homeschooled for four years so dropping them off with complete strangers aka teachers was strange, to say the least.

I remember, in Jefferson, dropping True off for his first day of preschool. He was four and Annika, only one.  I put Annika in the carseat, her hand outstretched toward her brother, crying, "Du!"  I felt a little like that today.  I walked them each to their class and noticed that I seemed to be the only parent sort-of standing around, just observing.  It was hard to say good-bye. They on the other hand were pretty excited.  So we shall see.

It's been interesting to note the reactions I've gotten from different people when telling them that I had decided to put the kids back in school.  The homeschoolers say something like, "Ohhh...okay.  Well, that will be nice."  And I know they're thinking it will not be nice.  The non homeschoolers, however, have all responded with elation, as though they've been waiting for the day I would come to my senses and do what 'normal' people do.  That's a post, though, for another time.

So.... it's much quieter around the house today.  And funny that though I long for less noise, the relative silence does seem deafening.  I do miss them.   But on the bright side, I've had a great day with the little ones.  We did our first day of kindergarten, here.  And it was a success.  They are working on an art project as I write. I think they've loved soaking up so much mommy-time.

All in all, it looks like God knows what He's doing.

I was so afraid a few short months ago, anticipating this coming time.  My sponsor advised that I somehow, "get okay with the worst-case scenario."  Having to put my kids in school was definitely on that list of awful things to come,things I didn't feel like I could live with, let alone be okay with.  But now that it's said and done, it doesn't look like it's going to be so bad.  The school has a lot to offer and seems like it's going to be a great environment for them, and even the fact that my five year old won't start until next year seems to be part of the "plan".  The plan where everything is just as it should be.  I still get to homeschool. But teaching only kindergarten won't take up much of my day, freeing me to work.  Another thing I've been afraid of.

So many life changes.  So much time spent worrying and obsessing and turns out that God has it covered.  Every. Single. Time.

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