Tuesday, February 8, 2011

Remembering and Repeating

I am lacking patience today. I am wanting, badly, to complain. And then I read Ann Voskamp's blog about taking "today slow and quiet" and from there a blog on not complaining. Yes, He always does this. Brings me to where I need to be, lets me hear what I need to hear. I read these things, try to absorb, appreciate God's infinite wisdom, His uncanny ability to talk to me about just the things I need to learn. But still, I don't know if it's helping. If it's all getting through. The blog on not complaining was a challenge for Monday. Well, it's Tuesday. So, maybe that doesn't count. And isn't there a difference between complaining and venting?

But I come to this place, this brief afternoon time I allow myself, of quiet where I write, and I'm praying for these things I too easily relinquish, that patience shed before even properly worn, that long suffering spirit which eludes me often. I am praying for accordance with God's will, what he has not only challenged me to but says is possible and available. I know He left peace with us. (John 14:27) Peace for even the days I'm required to run.

It is hard to remember the gratitude and laughter of yesterday when today the grocery store looms and the kids all have activities and places to be and how will I manage to even cook dinner? Can I take a day full and make it slow and quiet? How do I find quiet when the kids are LOUD? And they all want to talk at once, rambunctious, and I can hardly think?

It's remembering and repeating. Remembering that this time is precious. Fleeting, and soon all will be too quiet. It is repeating these remembrances while I run and returning to all the memory verses about peace and long suffering and gratitude. It is listening to God and child, with new ears. God in the child.

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