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Thursday, December 23, 2010

AA

I went to a meeting a couple of nights ago. It had been a really long time. Too long. It felt good to be back in those rooms. Like coming home. God used AA to save my life. I needed to be reminded. By the grace of God, I don't even have cravings anymore but I needed to hear those sayings. Hear other broken people share how they get through life . I heard someone say recently that people in recovery are some of the healthiest people you'll ever meet. I think this is true. A meeting is a meeting anywhere you go. There are all types. Young, old, put together, scrubs, wealthy, poor. The disease doesn't discriminate. You've got people who are healthier than others but the point is, every one there is trying. Everyone there is willing to admit that they need help. That left to their own devices, they'll screw things up. That they NEED a HIGHER POWER. I wish I could encounter these people everywhere, at church, at school, at the market. People who take personal responsibility, who don't judge, who are ready to lend a hand. I wish at church we could introduce ourselves by saying, "I'm Nicole. I'm a sinner. But by the grace of God, I'm here today." The principles I learned in AA are principles for any life. Learning to live life on life's terms. Admitting you're a mess, that you need others and God. Saying sorry when you're wrong. Asking God to show you your character defects, being inclusive rather than exclusive, service, gratitude. Should it really take a disease to be able to learn these things? Maybe there should be a twelve step program for the addiction to self we all face, the malady of humanness, the sickness of sin. And we'd give hugs and say, "I've been there too. Call me. Keep coming back."
Thank you God, for being in those sometimes dingy rooms, for being in the souls of those sometimes dingy looking people and for living in my dingy heart.

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