Friday, December 24, 2010

How easily I find myself in a place where my moods are determined by what others think of me. If I could hear the voice of God every day telling me how much he loves me, that He is proud of me, that He delights in me, how much more joy would I have?
This time of year is hard for me. I don't like the cold, the snow, the pressures of the holiday. I easily slip into Grinch mode. I am not a person who exudes cheerfulness and have always been distrustful of those who do. But I realized that this comes from the negative way I tend to view myself. If I felt better about where I was at in life or who I was, I'd be able to tolerate the cold, the crowded shopping centers, others burdens. Does that make sense?
I compare my insides to everyone else's outsides and I spend a lot of time worrying about my house not being clean. That' s a very fruitless train of thought. I almost laughed out loud when I heard God remind me that I'm so far from where I was once. I've grown so much. I will continue to grow. I'm not a drunk anymore. Maybe my house is not immaculate but I'm sober. That's what I find humorous. Sometimes it much more simple than we allow it to be. It's the little things which are huge things. It's the fact that my Creator is very proud of me. That I am where I'm supposed to be. And He has blessed me immensely. He does not look around my house and notice dust and clutter. He looks at my spiritual house and views warmth and opening, reverence, hostessing. I host my Savior there and that is what He desires. When I receive accolades and am tempted to allow my head to inflate or when I don't hear kind words or feel ignored and my spirit drops, then I am not listening to the one voice I need to be. I need seek the approval of only One. And I am preapproved because of His coming. Let's thank God for all His blessings today. Let's hear His voice. Let's celebrate that He came lowly. What gifts has God bestowed upon you this season?

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