Today, my husband and I celebrate ten years of marriage.
Except we don't get to celebrate because another winter storm intrudes, ruining the plans we'd made for this evening.
And this weather report made me grumpy, childishly so. I was grouchy with Brett, on the worst day of the year to be so with him, as if it was somehow his fault that we live in cold country where the climate is unpredictable. And I brought into the house the icy element which I so detest outside.
And I didn't want to write. Especially, after yesterday's post because I know it's not good to complain often, only vent occasionally.
And I didn't want to clean. Brett's mother is coming in tomorrow and after cleaning, we were at least going to get to have a date night as a reward. Now, no.
And it is not an understatement to say that I hate cleaning. Luckily, I have learned to hate a messy house more.
But...I got to work. Praying, through the work, saying, "God, you'll have to give me something to write about if you want me to write. Cause I'm irritable now.
And I want to acknowledge the blessing which is this marriage but what words could contain all of these ten years and do justice the beauty and the heartache and the growth and the miracles which have all occurred. Especially when I'm in this place?
And I DON'T WANT TO WRITE ABOUT THE WEATHER ANYMORE!"
And Brett was in the kitchen cooking because he's lovely like that, and True was fretting because he couldn't polish the kitchen table well enough where the baby sits and Annika was organizing her Barbie dream house and Kristin was cleaning the bathroom and Verity was being a princess while not contributing and I was pouting, dusting.
And suddenly....I felt God's joy. Really felt it. In my stomach. Flooding in with the simple thought, "Whatever." Not a "whatever" felt with bitterness, but more a "Whatever, it's all good."
Because it is. And He is. And my life is.
I have so much to be grateful for. I spent the morning of my anniversary in church worshiping and listening to a sermon on glorifying God. And I received the most beautiful message from a dear friend whom I've missed so much these last five years. And I have a sweet, loving, amazing family and we clean our house together and we help each other clean our spiritual houses.
I could go on and on about all I have to be thankful for and I ought, for this is one way I can glorify the Lord.
I am so grateful for what God has been bringing me into with this blog. Who would have thought that a blog of all things, could have such an impact on one's life? Because readers or not, my heart is changing as I open up to honesty and seek God's face and seek also to share what I have found.