Enough

I look at my children and they are enough.  They are more than enough.  Do I ever view them and wish they were different?  Do I look at them with critical eyes, picking apart their faults?  No.

Yes, I become frustrated with their inattention at times, I grow impatient with the pandemonium once in a while, I discipline them when I see a behavior which needs to be halted.  But do I ever think, 'I wish this one was smarter', 'This one prettier', 'This one less talkative'?  No.

 I gaze at them through eyes of crazy love, love that loves them for who they are.  These are the kids God gave me and these are the kids I want.  I want them wholly the way they are.  Because I am their mother.  I love them unconditionally.  They are enough.

And isn't that how God sees me?  I am His child.  He looks at me and through my mood swings and my struggles, my scramblings, the good times the bad times and sometimes my disobedience and He says, "You are enough.  I made you this way....on purpose."

Yes, He disciplines me.  Yes, He longs to see me grow.  But He does not look at me and wish that I was something else, something more.  He doesn't think I would be better if I were more successful or prettier or smarter.  He doesn't want to trade me in.  He loves me unconditionally.

And so, I need to remind myself of this fact.  This truth.  I need to tell myself that if I am enough in God's eyes, I ought to be enough in my own eyes.

There is hope in this fact, this truth.  There is hope in the belief that I am a child of a God who loves me as is.  Who takes me as is.  With my imperfections and faults.

And just as I look at my children, young now, with a hope for their future so God who loves me now, the way I am, also has a hope for my future.  And this gives me hope.  This amazing circle which is and is of God.



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