These lines from Holley Gerth's blog blow me away today and bring those tears I need:
"God sees us that way too. We stand in front of Him with our messy lives, our bare souls and we are certain that there isn't any beauty to behold.
Then He catches us by surprise, looks our way and says, "Hey, beautiful."
To hear God say, "Hey, beautiful." Wow.
Yet, why is it, that on God's love I can write prose and poetry abundant- here....and I can feel it. But in the same day, the same hour, I lose that certainty.
I revealed to my dad yesterday that after I blog, I sometimes grapple with a strange sadness; a let down. After discussion and prayer, we concluded that it's a normal feeling. It comes from being, here, in union with the Spirit, being so deeply touched by God's hand...and then leaving the Spirit when my writing is done. I am not in union throughout the day. Not like I should be. And so, then, of course, I begin to strive. I begin to forget that I am loved.
It's a practice, the presence of God. It truly is. And when I am in more constant communion, I can more easily accept what I know. That I am loved.