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Tuesday, August 2, 2011

Reminders

I went to a meeting last night.  I know I've written about this before, but I need the reminder of how much I love the program.

It was the first meeting I've been to since we've been back.  It's the same meeting I got sober at.  They've moved buildings and I only recognized two people but recovering alcoholics were there and that's the reason I went.

So, I opened the door... and then backed back out.

 It was all men.

But after being assured that it wasn't a men's stag meeting, I went ahead and sat down.  I have to admit, my first thought was, "Well, this isn't what I need."

But I was wrong.

Newcomers, old timers, men, women; it doesn't matter.  I need the rooms and the reminders.

And turns out, there were two women in there.  I just didn't see them at first.

 Most of the men were under forty, a bigger portion probably under thirty.  Yeah, there was ego rampant, testosterone soaring and a whole lot of one- upping.   And my first reaction was to judge.

 And then God shut me up.  I could sit there and focus on what others were lacking or I could reflect on how amazing it was to observe so many young men making an honest effort to change their lives.  To give their lives over to the will and care of God.

 God bless them.  I have never heard the f word so much in my life but AA is the one place it doesn't bother me so much.  These people are trying. Which is a lot more than a lot of people do.

Will they all stay sober?  Probably not.  But some will.  Some will  work that program and they'll find God through it and they'll be healthier than a lot of non alcoholics.  I've seen it.

And I'll say it again, if normies could just go to a twelve step meeting every once in a while, the world would be a better place.

Because to stand in the front of a room full of peers and say, "I'm afraid.  God's working with me on fear," takes God given courage.
To say, "Four months ago, I was in rehab and never thought I'd find anything in life to be happy about" takes God infused hope.
To say, "The worst moment in my life brought me closer to God, if that makes any sense" takes an experience with God.

This is what they are learning about God.  And they are doing hard stuff.  Seriously.  The program isn't easy.  And that third step of giving your will and your life over to the care of God, is something seasoned Christians have a hard time with.

And so, God spoke to me through sailor-mouthed, twenty-something, rough around the edges men.

He reminded me.



2 comments:

  1. I commend you, and all the others, for you courage to be vulnerable and your commitment to remaining sober. It is an uphill battle but you have God on your side. A prayer is going up for you as I write. May God bless.

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  2. Thanks for your honesty, and thanks for your heart of love and compassion. And I appreciated having you visit me at my Pursuing Heart blog.

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